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Wearing only a ski mask and tennis shoes, an Air Force Academy cadet risked expulsion and ran naked through the school's dining hall more than 40 years ago.

The 1974 streaker's identity was a secret to most of his peers and academy officials. What became a memorable moment for many in the academy's 1975 graduating class turned into a decades-long question about the streaker's identity.

The mystery ended Friday night, at the class's 40th reunion, when the man revealed himself again to his classmates.

This time, Jerry Wallace was fully clothed.

"It was great fun. It got us through three weeks at the academy," Wallace said before the reunion. "We had great fun doing it and it's still fun to think back."

After entering a hotel ballroom Friday night wearing a ski mask, Wallace took center stage in front of hundreds of his former classmates. He later uncovered his face to a standing ovation and chants of "Jerry." A dozen of his peers who helped with the prank later joined him there.

The 62-year-old was inspired, with three other cadets, to organize the prank as a challenge to the school's leadership. Cadets who ran naked through an event faced expulsion if caught.

Using military training and briefing skills they learned in school, Wallace said he and the others devised a covert plan to streak through the Academy's Mitchell Hall and into an awaiting vehicle. Football players blocked aisles to help with the getaway.

"No one else was stupid enough to volunteer," said Wallace, a retired lieutenant colonel. "It was a little scary because I didn't want to get kicked out of the academy."

But he didn't.

"There's been a legendary Mitchell Hall streaker for years who's never been caught," said Bruce Correll, a retired lieutenant colonel who worked with Wallace as a commercial airline pilot. "Finally after 40 years a lot of guys are speculating who it was."

About 15 years after the prank, Correll said he coaxed the secret out of Wallace and persuaded him to tell their classmates.

On stage in front of his peers Friday night, the legendary streaker was awarded two brass balls. But not before one of the members of the crowd yelled out "do it again!"

– Stephen Hobbs, Colorado Springs Gazette, 11 October 2015

Mrs. Waldo Dumbsquat was thrilled to attend Waldo’s 40th reunion; she had heard the zero reunions were the best. Waldo wasn’t so sure.

The deliriously happy couple made their way to the registration desk of the Colorado Springs Marriott, “Mr. and Mrs. Dumbsquat checking in. 75 Best Alive!”

“We have no record of any registration for a Dumbsquat,” the pimply faced front desk person whined.

“That’s Waldo F. Dumbsquat,” Waldo stated. “Please try again.”

“No registration, Sir,” the clerk repeated. “Are you sure you have the right hotel?”

Waldo’s temperature started to rise and he began looking for some sort of room to transform into the Man for all Reasons: General Dumbsquat.

Mrs. Dumbsquat laid a hand on Waldo’s arm to calm him down as she whispered in his ear, “That won’t work here dear. These are civilians.” She turned to the front desk clerk as she rummaged through her pocketbook, “Could I please talk to the front desk supervisor, Ms. Cook. I would like to show her a copy of our registration.” Mrs. Dumbsquat had seen Ms. Cook’s photo behind the desk.

The front desk clerk wanted to refuse, but Mrs. Dumbsquat was so nice he had no chance. He ducked out back for a second and came back with Ms. Cook in tow.

“Your front desk clerk has been so helpful,” Mrs. Dumbsquat started. “But this situation is beyond his authority. It seems your registration system has lost our registration and I was wondering if you could help us.” She handed the registration to Ms. Cook.

Before they knew it, Mrs. And Mr. Waldo Dumbsquat were unpacking their bags in the Presidential Suite. I guess the President wouldn’t be in town tonight.

The week had been going great and Mrs. Dumbsquat couldn’t wait to eat in Mitchell Hall having heard so many great food stories from Waldo; she was secretly hoping for Mitch’s Mountain for dessert. Waldo was hoping to not be poisoned.

Finally, they were seated at the 39th Squadron Commander’s table. Cadet Colonel Francis E. McIntire IV bragged that his grandfather was in the renowned class of “74”. Waldo didn’t remember the class of “74” being all that great, but he didn’t say anything.

“Do you think the 4th classmen can eat at rest for this meal,” Waldo asked?

“Absolutely not,” the Cadet Colonel replied. “They don’t deserve it. In fact, they will be lucky if they don’t spend the next two years as Doolies!”

“Watch this.” The Squadron Commander said with glee. “Fourth Class Cadet Browner.”

“Yes Sir,” the pathetic Doolie drawled as he spilled half of the canned spaghetti off his plate into his lap.

“Mr. Browner, what is the wingspan of the F-22 Raptor?”

 Looking like he had just lost his only friend, Cadet Browner couldn’t even think of anything to mumble.

“You see,” the Squadron Commander beamed. “They’re all pathetic; just like this one.

“When is your next class today Doo-Jaz Browner?”

“I don’t have any afternoon classes, Sir,” Browner squeaked out.

“Perfect,” Frank McIntire smiled. “Meet me in front of my room in twenty minutes in full parade uniform with your rifle.”

“Yes Sir.”

“And Browner… make sure you have no spaghetti sauce on your shoes.”

Mrs. Dumbsquat didn’t look like she was enjoying the shoe leather garlic bread, but she was enjoying it much better than the antics of the Frank McIntire.

Turning to the head of the table, she put on her sweetest smile, “Cadet General McIntire, we missed the tour this morning, would you assign one of your underlings to show us around 39th squadron?”

“I’m just a Colonel ma’am,” Cadet McIntire beamed. “I’m sure 2nd class cadet Rebecca Dorn will show you around. I would, but I have an appointment.”

Mr. and Mrs. Waldo Dumbsquat and Cadet Dorn lingered at the squadron table as the 4th classmen and the Squadron Commander hurried back to the dorm. Mrs. Dumbsquat was glad there was no dessert; it probably would have been freezer burned.

It was a beautiful October day out as the trio ambled back to the dorm. Mrs. Dumbsquat was looking forward to seeing the elegant dorm rooms where her hero Waldo once resided.

“What is that awful din?” Mrs. Dumbsquat asked as they got closer to the 4th group dorms.

“I believe you are going to get to experience a special inspection,” Waldo replied. “And, I don’t think you are going to like it, my dear.”

As they rounded a final corner into 39th squadron, Mrs. Dumbsquat was horrified at what she saw. Cadet 4th class Browner was pumping his legs with his rifle over his head as he belted out all four verses of the Air Force Song.

Cadet Squadron Commander McIntire said, “Enough, I’m really getting tired at the effort you’re putting out. Are all Southern Boys wimps just like you, or are there any real men from Alabama?”

Cadet Browner refused to rise to the bait which just seemed to make Frank McIntire all that much madder.

“There’s a reason the South lost the Civil War Browner,” McIntire continued. “I’m sure some of your relatives ended up running away from, instead of towards the action!”

Mrs. Dumbsquat knew the danger signs of her husband’s heavy breathing and she turned and placed her hand on his arm. When Waldo turned and looked her directly in the eyes, she mouthed the word, “Now!”

The sloped shouldered, paunch bellied, gray haired Waldo Dumbsquat ducked out of sight and a mystical transformation occurred that sounded almost like a sonic boom. The doors to the latrine burst open and the champion of all underdogs, General of the Air Force Waldo F. Dumbsquat sallied forth.

“Squadron, Atten-hut!” Cadet Dorn belted out. All she could see was the four brilliant stars adorning Waldo’s shoulders.

General Dumbsquat carefully inspected each cadet in the squadron area making all positive comments until he reached Cadet Squadron Commander McIntire. “A true leader never belittles the men that serve under him, Mr.”

“I don’t expect you to understand that statement any better than your grandfather did,” Waldo continued. “He was almost as much of a jackass as you are. Now, are you ready to repeat after me?”

“Yes sir,” Frank’s eyes were as wide as saucers.

“All 4th class cadets in 39th squadron are at rest for the rest of the weekend.”

He hesitated, “All 4th class cadets in 39th squadron are at rest for the rest of the weekend.”

“Good, now give me twenty squat thrusts and then run over to command post and make the following announcement,” General Dumbsquat whispered something into Frank’s ear. “Now count them out Mister.”

Mrs. Dumbsquat started walking away and was joined by Waldo after he had changed back to a mere mortal. As they were making their way to their car they heard the heard the metallic click of the Command Post speakers, “Attention in the area, attention in the area. 75 Best Alive!”

 

(Sung to the tune of “Major-General’s Song” from “The Pirates of Penzance”)

Way out in Colorado nice and high at 7,000 feet.
There is a place where scholars from across the USA can meet.
They’re academic geniuses and athletes and they’re leaders too.
They all came out for schooling at this place we call our dear “Blue Zoo”!

So let’s now wind the clock back to the first part of the 70’s.
We strolled in with some attitudes and long hair – we were men at ease.
But little did we know that soon we would be called the “Best Alive”.
Let’s take a closer look at those fine men – The Class of 7-5!

We came from massive cities and from smaller states some know the least,
But we all walked through “Bring Me Men” to tackle that enormous “Beast”!
The times were sort of rough back then for gallant men in uniform,
But we still oozed with confidence at Vandenberg and the “New Dorm”.

(Chorus) –
Yes we still oozed with confidence at Vandenberg and the “New Dorm”.
Yes we still oozed with confidence at Vandenberg and the “New Dorm”.
Yes we still oozed with confidence at Vandenberg and the “New Dorm”.

That summer was a rough one there was marching and some shouting too.
We slept through lots of airpower films and somehow learned to love our Zoo.
We flailed away with pugil sticks and courses – Confidence and “O”,
And sighed with great relief at magic words like “Guys – just take a blow.”

But somehow we did make it through to start the Academic grind.
That fall was full of football and a “lizard” of a different kind!
We tried to make the “New Look” work and showed the world some streakers too!
The Class of 7-5 was clearly present now at the Blue Zoo.

(Chorus) –
The Class of 7-5 was clearly present now at the Blue Zoo.
The Class of 7-5 was clearly present now at the Blue Zoo.
The Class of 7-5 was clearly present now at the Blue Zoo.

Soon we got into our routine with books and intramural fields.
We marched to meals and cut our hair and shined our shoes with mega-zeal!
We sure enjoyed those triple threats and begging for an ODP
And prayed that we would not mess up and get stuck with a CDB.

We marched a lot of tours and did our “con” time rotting in our rooms,
And tried to keep our cool when we were hassled just for being “Zooms”.
And who could soon forget those nights that some of us loved best of all?
Let’s hear it for those Arnie mixers better known as “Cattle Calls”!

(Chorus) –
Let’s hear it for those Arnie mixers better known as “Cattle Calls”!
Let’s hear it for those Arnie mixers better known as “Cattle Calls”!
Let’s hear it for those Arnie mixers better known as “Cattle Calls”!

We went to chapel: mandatory – then twas not – a changing time.
We stuffed our bins and called the minutes – some would even make them rhyme!
We put up with some “Flamers” and we rolled our eyes at “Know-it-alls”,
And who knows what went on beneath the Zoo inside those tunnel halls?

Oh yes – there were some dark times – there were Form 10’s and some scandals too!
Some said “Enough” and hit the road when they’d been through a year or 2.
But those who stuck it out saw that the best was really yet to come
With cars and rings and girls and flying – you could almost call it “fun”!

(Chorus) –
With cars and rings and girls and flying – you could almost call it “fun”!
With cars and rings and girls and flying – you could almost call it “fun”!
With cars and rings and girls and flying – you could almost call it “fun”!

There’s still a few fond memories that I’ll submit to make you smile
Like K squad and the jock ramps and those Allied Arts – now that was style.
And Buck–ups and the Lottery so we would know where we would fly!
And AOCs and “Nega-burns” and football cheers and only – Guys!

And who will soon forget a general by the name of Galligan?
Or Vandenberg or Woodward even A.P. Clark – yes these were men!
And Jimmy Stewart in the house or flybys at the meal noon.
These happenings were long ago – but we will not forget them soon!

So raise your glasses high and toast yourself – our classmates 7-5.
It’s no small wonder that our motto then and now is “Best Alive”!
We’re here now after 35 – We’re moving forward – feel our vibe!
It’s pretty clear there’s never been a class like 19 7-5!

(Chorus) –
It’s pretty clear there’s never been a class like 19 7-5!
It’s pretty clear there’s never been a class like 19 7-5!
It’s pretty clear there’s never been a class like 19 7-5!

 

Bruce Mitchell: As newly elected '75 class rep to the AOG Class Advisory Senate, I'm planning to disseminate some details to the class via squadron reps in order to help keep our classmates informed of what is going on at the Academy. 

Agenda:

– Summary and Status of current AFCW honor code enforcement and training mechanisms, summarized by volunteer mentor to the Honor Committee from USAFA '70, who has been working with the honor reps for several years running.

– Hall of Heroes dedicated on Freedom walk, see updates on AOG website; you may be surprised. Vietnam Memorial was originally sponsored by USAFA '70, and the Hall of Heroes is an adjunct display, collocated just NW of the AOG's Doolittle Hall.

– CCLD building open to early tour (led by cadets) and resulting rave reviews at Corona Conference in November (Army week)

– CAS was briefed on Endowment progress by lead fund raiser, and upon new use of crowd funding website.

CAS Discussion Items:

– Home game for AFA at Cotton Bowl next year – sold out to the mighty dollar – CAS doesn’t like the idea and wants to talk to Athletic Director about it, if at all possible.

– Jeff Hackett introduced to CAS as our alternate '75 CAS rep (back-up for me, in case I'm indisposed)

– New approach to informing USAFA ’75 of hot and routine issues of interest from CAS meetings
After each CAS meeting, Mitchell and/or Hackett will send a brief blurb such as this out to the class. This will serve as a tickler message and hopefully will motivate classmates to go to the AOG website and read the official minutes. Hopefully, if classmates have questions or comments upon readingnew information, they will direct them to their CAS reps...we'll do our best to follow-up and get an answer or explanation back to the inquiry or the class in general.

– See formal CAS minutes. (Link Right)

– Obviously, if anyone in '75 has AOG-related questions or comments to be investigated, researched or relayed to the PTB, that is what your CAS rep is for. Please let Mitchell or Hackett hear from you.